Honest Book Pitches

Yeah, sure, we all read the blurbs on the back covers of books. But do those really tell us what we want to know? I, C.J., have taken it upon myself to reveal the truth about a number of popular books. And yes, this is going to be highly sarcastic, and also these are all books that I enjoy, so don’t @ me with “you’re so mean!” because I will chuckle.  (For more extensive honesty, check out my Book Breakdowns on instagram.)

Originally posted on www.sarcasmandlemons.com

spin the dawn BY ELIZABETH LIM

If the contestants in Project Runway were risking death for failure, and also there are fairy tales

a blade so black BY L.L. MCKINNEY 

Black Alice kicks ass and has unresolved sexual tension with the Mad Hatter

wilder girls BY RORY POWER

If 28 Days had a baby with a cute New England boarding school and made everyone want to throw up

the beautiful BY RENEE AHDIEH 

The Vampire Lestat gets sucked into YA and hangs out in secret clubs

six of crows BY LEIGH BARDUGO 

Six criminal misfits make very bad decisions and do unspeakable things to eyeballs


Being kidnapped is fine because you get to play deadly games in pretty dresses

when dimple met rishi BY SANDHYA MENON

In which bad things happen to good Starbucks drinks, or

Arranged marriage at nerd camp 

wicked saints BY EMILY DUNCAN 

The Grisha saga if it were written in a bloodier world about only terrible people

a curse so dark and lonely BY BRIGID KEMMERER 

If Beauty was a hotheaded teen girl and the Beast was an angsty angst pants

and i darken BY KIERSTEN WHITE

Vlad the impaler, only female and somehow scarier

wintersong BY S. JAE-JONES 

All your inexplicably sexual childhood feelings for Jareth from Labyrinth come back to haunt you in 18th century Germany

the fault in our stars BY JOHN GREEN 

Crying and Amsterdam

red rising BY PIERCE BROWN 

Sci-fi Harry Potter if everyone at Hogwarts had to murder each other

the magicians BY LEV GROSSMAN 

Harry Potter except written by Bret Easton Ellis, or

Bored grad students with magic

the devouring gray BY CHRISTINE L. HERMAN 

Supernatural the CW show in a small town, except everyone is bisexual

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